Vital Football

Latest Bolton Wanderers News

BWFC: The Alice Band Brigade

BWFC: The Alice Band Brigade

A funny poem from Barney, enjoy...

Music blaring all around, as a prelude to the match,
Fans spilling onto terraces, from streets along their patch.
Players in the tunnel, ready to do their stint,
Photographers on red alert, each picture worth a mint.

'Where`s Jonny?' asked the gaffer, 'He knows he`s down to play!'
'He`s just tying back his hair, boss. There shouldn't be much delay.'
'He`s forgotten to bring his gel again and he`s got a date tonight,
So, if he plays this afternoon, it`s bound to look a sight.'

Hands on hips, and pouting, the gaffer struck a pose,
'What a shame.' he mocked him. 'Don`t say he`s one of those?'
'Why can`t he find a hairnet and get on with the game,
And, if it keeps his hair in place, it might improve his aim.'

'He should buy himself an Alice band.' piped up the new full-back,
'They`re sold in loads of colours. My favourite one`s in black.'
He glanced in a full-length mirror, and smoothed his hair with pride,
But he looked a proper Jesse, with his locks stuck in a slide.
Still, he wasn't the only one, left looking like a girl,
As each player passed his image, he gave himself a twirl.

There were tattoos by the dozen, shirts out flowing free,
In keeping with the latest trend, they wore socks above the knee.
Boots like carpet slippers, in every colour you can get,
Gloves in double figures and wrist-bands in case they sweat.


Out on the pitch, the players stood, milking the applause,
Before shaking hands and stating 'That`s a great hair-band of your.'
'I think I`ll probably get one, when I have my highlights done,
But then again, it might be better, if I wear it in a bun.'


Once the match got under way, it was obvious from the start,
The so-called 'Alice Band Brigade`, was looking rather smart.
But as the cameras followed play, the action took its toll,
And those with fancy hairstyles, found them harder to control.
Alice bands were soon awry, and straggly hair fell down,
Before the game was interrupted, by a badly broken crown.

Eager physios sprinted on, to help fix damaged bands,
As casualties began to mount, in need of healing hands.
Commentators made the point, it was no use shedding tears,
Players wearing Alice bands should attach them to their ears.

As the final whistle sounded, the players hugged and kissed,
Except for those with pony-tails, who everybody missed.
Back inside the changing-room, Jonny`s future had been saved,
Now chastened by his manager, and his head completely shaved.

Writer:Barney
Date:Sunday May 26 2013
Time: 5:07PM

Comments

0
Poet laureate or what ...brilliant
Bwfc46
26/05/2013 18:28:00
0
Brilliant Barney, Bravo!!!
Boltongav
26/05/2013 21:03:00
0
LOL - Great and so true these days!
Pedro1874
27/05/2013 00:05:00
0
So how does dougie feel now I wonder. Having left cpfc for a better chance at getting to the prem. with us he must be sick!! However as we get promoted next year they will be going the other way.
Boltongav
27/05/2013 17:44:00
0
Great piece of verse Barney! From the previous thread, I agree with what was said about Tierney & Baptiste; they both look like good signings. Plus the the two youngsters, no great expense incurred. More evidence that DF knows what he is doing. A striker would still be good - Carlton Cole? - but all good so far!
FredMadagascar
27/05/2013 19:09:00
0
Very good article in the BN in two parts with Mark Leather. Another indictment of the two previous managers incompetence and ignorance in the fitness department which ultimately caused our demise.
Pedro1874
28/05/2013 11:35:00
0
DF certainly backed the wrong horse! Let's hope that it gives him even more incentive next season!
Pedro1874
28/05/2013 11:47:00
0
DF certainly backed the wrong horse! Let's hope that it gives him even more incentive next season!
Pedro1874
28/05/2013 11:47:00
0
Whichever way you look at it the margins are often too fine to call, we were relegated 12 months ago courtesy of one goal in either of the last 2 games. We missed the play offs this time courtesy of one goal across two games on the last day, Palace go up courtesy of one goal in the final. For all the optimism and faith the harsh fact is goals are all that matters. PS- events also put the player loan system into perspective.
aussie mike
28/05/2013 12:59:00
0
As indeed is winning, Mike!
FredMadagascar
28/05/2013 14:08:00
Page 1/4
  1. 1
  2. 2
  3. 3
  4. 4

Login to post a comment

Recent Bolton Wanderers Articles

2016/17 Transfer Deadline - A Few Days Remain

Well it's almost that time of the year again, only a final few days to go before the closure of the summer transfer window for 2016/17, and with the international break...

Stats: Charlton Athletic v Bolton Wanderers

All the stats from Charlton Athletic (1) vs (1) Bolton Wanderers , The Valley, 27 August Att: 10,926

Bolton's 100% Record Ends

Bolton's perfect run of league games came to an end after conceding a late equaliser at Charlton.

It wasn't the best performance in the first half. David Wheater nearly did put Wanderers ahea

Vital Bolton Wants You!

Consider this a recruitment drive for new writers. Interested? Come this way

Archived Vital Bolton Articles

Vital Bolton articles from

Site Journalists

Anthony Hart
Editor email
Profile
Tom Bevington
no email
Profile
Tom Jenkins
no email
Profile

Current Poll (see more polls)

Your Player of the Season is...
Suggested By:
Mark Davies4%
Rob Holding58%
Jay Spearing7%
David Wheater31%
ScoopDragon Publishing Entire League Network of Sites

League Table

# Team P W D L Pts. GD
1 Bolton 5 4 1 0 13 4
2 Bradford 5 3 2 0 11 4
3 Scunthorpe 5 3 1 1 10 6
4 Port Vale 5 3 1 1 10 4
5 Millwall 5 3 1 1 10 2
6 Gillingham 5 3 1 1 10 -1
7 Peterborough 5 3 0 2 9 5
8 Fleetwood 5 2 2 1 8 3
9 Charlton 5 2 2 1 8 2
10 Chesterfield 5 2 1 2 7 1
11 Swindon 4 2 1 1 7 0
12 MK Dons 5 2 1 2 7 -1
13 Oldham 5 1 3 1 6 -2
14 Bury 5 1 2 2 5 0
15 Northampton 5 0 5 0 5 0
16 Walsall 5 1 2 2 5 -1
17 Bristol Rovers 4 1 1 2 4 -2
18 Oxford 5 1 1 3 4 -3
19 Southend 5 1 1 3 4 -3
20 Sheff Utd 5 1 1 3 4 -4
21 Shrewsbury 5 1 1 3 4 -4
22 Coventry 5 0 3 2 3 -3
23 Rochdale 5 0 2 3 2 -3
24 Wimbledon 5 0 2 3 2 -4
Latest F1 News
Latest Vital Boxing News

Recent Bolton Wanderers Results (view all)

Bolton Wanderers Fixtures (view all)

Vital Members League Table

RankNamePoints
1.Barney Grumble19
2.Vital Bolton6
3.adlington21